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Blog Archive for February 2001

Phobias

Sunday, February 4th, 2001 @ 1:00 AM - text

Are you afraid of the Pubes?

Mankind, being the idiots that they are, manage to develop phobias for just about everything. I have cataloged a few of these common and uncommon fears in hopes that more people will acquire them.

Arachnophobia

Spiders are the creepiest fucking creatures spawned upon the earth. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. From tiny, white and wispy to big, dark and furry. While seemingly silent, I would imagine if one were to ever accidentally step on a big one, the spider would let out a bowel-moving scream. Bowel-Moving Scream. After which the hairy little bastard would fling itself from the ground onto your face and immediately inject all of its baby spider eggs into your brain.

Cockaphobia

Nothing is more frightening than a big, slimy, erect penis. This weapon of choice for most males is capable of striking fear into the hearts of population. Dogs and Farm animals have learned to run and hide at the very sight of it. Most human females seem to develop immunity to cock around the age of thirteen. (the day their father rapes them) Those fortunate few females that don't, usually end up as box-munching dikes or God loving nuns. (though one could say that metaphorically they are still sucking the dick of Jesus) Any male who doesn't have a healthy fear of his or other penises is most definitely a homosexual. (don't let em' fool yah, a straight dude may claim he is not afraid, but if you let your guard down he will grab it and jam it up his ass)

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